Saturday, February 13, 2010
Video?
Please give me your thoughts? I bought a video recorder for a variety of reasons...to record the boys playing sports, getting awards, singing and dancing on stage, learning new skills, etc. What are your thoughts on taping them when they have temper tantrums? Or even slight flare-ups? I know it's a negative thing, but I can't help but think it might help them understand what they are doing to see it. What do you think?
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Several years ago, I was in the car with the kids when Jake threw a fit about something - screaming and carrying on and on and on... I realized that my phone had a record feature and, on a whim, I hit the button and got the whole thing. Another time, when he was calm, I played it for him. He listened to a few seconds and begged me to turn it off. I said, 'Yeah, that's pretty hard to listen to, isn't it? We were in the car with you and couldn't turn it off or walk away. We had to listen until you stopped...' It definitely made a point!
ReplyDeleteIf someone recorded me when I was behaving badly, it would just further enrage me at the time. If they made me sit down and watch it later, when I wasn't behaving badly, it would be humiliating. Those things are both negative.
ReplyDeleteBut the real question is, would it stop me from behaving badly the next time I was provoked? I'm honestly not sure.
In Crucial Conversations, we learned about the adrenalin rush that happens at the very beginning of every confrontation, and that people (even small people) don't think logically once the adrenalin has flooded their brains. I think the decision not to act that way is logical.
So my answer is that recording a tantrum and making a person watch it will definitely result in their understanding why you are mad afterward, and even humble them a bit, but I don't think it would have any impact on future tantrums.
As always, I could be wrong.