Emotional Growth Is Hard

Speaking of emotional growth...well, we weren't, but I was with other people...in any case, emotional growth is hard. Sometimes it even hurts. And parenting is really hard too. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Of couse, I think the only people who think parenting is easy, aren't parents.

This morning Josh woke up cranky because he said he didn't get enough sleep. Thus, the argumentative side of him woke up right away. He went down from breakfast, but didn't want to eat the Raisin Bran that he'd previously picked out and started having a fit. I wasn't down there, so I didn't really know what the fit was about. When I went downstairs all I got was a series of grunts and whimpers. He was sitting on the sofa. I asked him if he wanted me to make his breakfast for him and he screamed NO at the top of his lungs. But when I walked behind the couch he crawled from one side to the other giggling like I was chasing him. It continues to amaze me that he can go from huffing and puffing mad to giggling in seconds. Normally when he's in the middle of a fit, my emotions are all tied up in it as well. And normally, in this circumstance, I would have been concerned that he was going to eat and get ready for school in time, so I would have been already stressed out. Also, normally, his giggling in the middle of a fit causes me to feel intense frustration. But this morning, I scurried around the sofa and tickled him. He continued to giggle. In a minute or so, I stopped and said "Let's go have breakfast." He stood up and took my hand and we walked to the kitchen. He started grunting and hurumphing and whimpering again within two minutes, but he did eat his breakfast...so that was progress. And I stayed even keel, and that was definitely progress.

Unfortunately, right as we were heading to school, everything got really ugly again. By this point, my patience had been tried and I was tired of being blamed for everything that goes wrong for him. I'm sure this is a typical problem for children. I'm sure all kids do this. But why does EVERYTHING have to be my fault. Well, that's an exaggeration. Some things are Joey's fault. But this morning, it was all me. It was my fault that he forgot his belt and had to go back upstairs to get it. It was my fault that it's cold outside. It was my fault that his eye got poked when he was putting on his coat, of course, I was no where near him. It was my fault that he was about to be tardy at school. It was my fault that he was tired.

People tell me this has to roll off me like water off a duck's back. I am getting better at that. I'm getting better at not having to answer every allegation or respond to every complaint. But I wouldn't say I'm good at it yet. I'm better at getting my emotions out of the situation and looking for the best way out of any conflict instead of having to win. But I have a ways to go on that as well. For every time I get it right, it seems it's followed by a time I don't. In this case, he stomped into the school with tears in his eyes. Even though he ate his breakfast and got to school on time, this wasn't a success for me.