Josh's First Crush

Josh is in love! He's in love with a girl in his class named Jacqueline. She's adorable. I'll try to find a picture of her from the fossil field trip earlier in the school year. Josh is head over heels for her. And he says she hates him. I hope that's not true. He has made her a paper ring that he plans to give her tomorrow and he's written her a song and drawn her lots of pictures. Seven years old seems young to be screaming I LOVE YOU on the playground...evidently he did that on Friday. He thinks about he all the time. I know this because he talks about her all the time. He's been in class with her all school year, but he has apparently just fallen in the last week or two. Wonder what she did to get his attention...or has he been harboring a crush all year. He just glows when he talks about her...it's so adorable!!

Hot vs. Cold Faucets

On Tuesday, after throwing snowballs in the snow, Josh came inside running with tiny little strides saying "My hands are freezing. I need something warm. I need something warm." He was running in circles and almost crying. I handed him a towel to wrap his hands in and he decided he needed to run them under warm water. This was a good idea so I told him to do that in the half bath downstairs. He said, "No. There's no hot water in there." Huh? There's hot water in there. I asked and he just repeated himself. Josh kept running around the downstairs and didn't hear what Joey said next. "On our first day here, I switched the H and C on the faucets in there. He never said anything so I figured he's just figured it out. Oops." I looked at him and shook my head. He said, "Are you mad?" to which I replied "No, that's funny. But now I need to go fix it." So Josh has been washing his hands in cold water for 6 months without ever mentioning it.

I went into the bathroom and showed Josh that he could get warm water by using the C handle. As he warmed up his hands the new newly found warm water, he said "So H is for cold and C is for hot. Mom, that doesn't make any sense." Oh how true. Joey has since switched them back which, ironically, means Josh is having trouble finding the warm water again.

Emotional Growth Is Hard

Speaking of emotional growth...well, we weren't, but I was with other people...in any case, emotional growth is hard. Sometimes it even hurts. And parenting is really hard too. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Of couse, I think the only people who think parenting is easy, aren't parents.

This morning Josh woke up cranky because he said he didn't get enough sleep. Thus, the argumentative side of him woke up right away. He went down from breakfast, but didn't want to eat the Raisin Bran that he'd previously picked out and started having a fit. I wasn't down there, so I didn't really know what the fit was about. When I went downstairs all I got was a series of grunts and whimpers. He was sitting on the sofa. I asked him if he wanted me to make his breakfast for him and he screamed NO at the top of his lungs. But when I walked behind the couch he crawled from one side to the other giggling like I was chasing him. It continues to amaze me that he can go from huffing and puffing mad to giggling in seconds. Normally when he's in the middle of a fit, my emotions are all tied up in it as well. And normally, in this circumstance, I would have been concerned that he was going to eat and get ready for school in time, so I would have been already stressed out. Also, normally, his giggling in the middle of a fit causes me to feel intense frustration. But this morning, I scurried around the sofa and tickled him. He continued to giggle. In a minute or so, I stopped and said "Let's go have breakfast." He stood up and took my hand and we walked to the kitchen. He started grunting and hurumphing and whimpering again within two minutes, but he did eat his breakfast...so that was progress. And I stayed even keel, and that was definitely progress.

Unfortunately, right as we were heading to school, everything got really ugly again. By this point, my patience had been tried and I was tired of being blamed for everything that goes wrong for him. I'm sure this is a typical problem for children. I'm sure all kids do this. But why does EVERYTHING have to be my fault. Well, that's an exaggeration. Some things are Joey's fault. But this morning, it was all me. It was my fault that he forgot his belt and had to go back upstairs to get it. It was my fault that it's cold outside. It was my fault that his eye got poked when he was putting on his coat, of course, I was no where near him. It was my fault that he was about to be tardy at school. It was my fault that he was tired.

People tell me this has to roll off me like water off a duck's back. I am getting better at that. I'm getting better at not having to answer every allegation or respond to every complaint. But I wouldn't say I'm good at it yet. I'm better at getting my emotions out of the situation and looking for the best way out of any conflict instead of having to win. But I have a ways to go on that as well. For every time I get it right, it seems it's followed by a time I don't. In this case, he stomped into the school with tears in his eyes. Even though he ate his breakfast and got to school on time, this wasn't a success for me.

Amblyopia Eye Exercises

We'd moved from patching to dilating and then to only eye exercises. Quite a while ago I blogged about Joey getting diagnosed with Amblyopia. I've learned so much about that condition and about Joey since then. We started out trying to patch his glasses with an opaque sticker type patch. The net result was that Joey pretty much stopped wearing his glasses. Can you blame him? The boy's not stupid and the glasses were much harder to see out of. So, the doctor moved to dilation. This meant that every morning I put 1 drop of a dilating solution in his eye and he constantly walked around out of focus. This was to force the weaker eye to work...and that strategy really worked for us. He took the drop like a man. I was so proud of him. He never even really complained about it. I could tell he was eager for us to get to the end of that phase, but he really was such a trooper. I can't say that I would have handled it as well. The biggest problem was that it made it very hard to read at first, and Joey LOVES to read. The fact that he loves to read is such a postive that I hated to do something that might turn him off reading. His reading dramatically reduced for a few weeks, but then he adjusting and got right back to it.

After about 4 months, the doctor finally said we could stop dilating. Now we are down to only the eye exercises. These are boring to Joey, so they warrant much more complaining. But he does them and I can't wait to see if he gets improvement from these as well. For one exercise, he puts a pirate patch over one eye, under his glasses. There is a large letter chart on the wall and a tiny letter chart in his hand. Each chart has a grid of letters and numbers 10 by 10. He has to read the first four off of one and the next four off of the other and continue to switch back and forth. This forces his focus to move in and out. He has to be pretty close to the wall chart to see the letters with his weaker eye so he has to stay that close for his stronger eye. The idea is to treat both eyes the same so the even out their efforts. And, of course, our goal if for him to be able to move back away from the large chart slower but surely. When his weak eye is tired, he turns his head to look out the side of his eye like my grandmother used to do when she first got macular degeneration. At the very beginning of his eye exercises every night, I stand behind him and hold his head straight so we can work on his Optic Posture. The doctor has been talking to us about Optic Posture for a while now. Joey is really taking to this...after the first 10 minutes of whining. I don't begrudge him the whining about this. With what he's going through with his vision, I'd be whining all the time!

Joey's Math Homework

Joey loves to do math, and he hates to get things wrong. He's extremely smart and learns very quickly and logically so he's very easy to teach. Except when he's finished his homework on his own and he's gotten something wrong. He wants me to check his work because he loves how impressed I get with how well he's doing. But sometimes he gets something wrong and can get very upset and very adamant that he's right. Most often he backs off quickly and asks me to explain...which I will and as soon as he sees the concept he can correct his work. But occasionally he insists that his teacher taught him something that she just couldn't have and I have to back off and let him learn it in class.

One night he was working on fractions and got so upset that I thought the total number went on the bottom when he KNEW it went on the top. I tried to reason with him and it just made him more sure. So, I said, "Okay. I'm just trying to help." Then I continued to make dinner. After a few minutes, he very calmly asked me to help him understand where the total goes. So, I did and now he's an expert in fractions. He's an absolute sponge! Helping these two young minds learn things that this is definitely one of the main things I love about being a parent!

Chess Club

When the boys first started school, I received tons of paperwork to read, sign, fill-out, throw out, etc. One of the papers was about Chess Club. When I read it, I kind of laughed...but I wasn't going to make these types of decisions for them. I read the paper to them including the fact that Chess Club would meet on Tuesday mornings at 7am so they would have to wake up super early on those days. They both jumped up and down and said they really, really, really wanted to join the Chess Club. Really? Chess Club? Well, of course they do. They want to do EVERYTHING offered. Plus they have a floor size Chess set at daycare and perhaps that would be more fun to play with if they knew how. The funny thing was that we had to turn in the forms, and we would be notified later if they "made it" as they could only take 50 or so kids. Shocked me that they thought more than 50 kids would want to join Chess Club, but what do I know? Evidently nothing. They both made it, but the Chess Club is packed!! Ok, not really anymore, but it was at first. As with most things, the population wanes as time passes. They still LOVE Chess Club and we go every single Tuesday! They can't actually play chess yet but they can play many beginner type games on the board that is teaching them the pieces and how each can move. It's awesome for their logic and learning and I regret my skepticism. Luckily I kept my thoughts to myself. My new thoughts are much more postive!

I Wished For You

Our family therapist recently suggested a book for us to read together. The book is I Wished For You, An Adoption Story, by Marianne Richmond. I ordered the book on Amazon and received it Monday. Last night I read the book to Joey. He loved it. The story talks about how a little boy bear is a Mama bear's wish come true. The Mama bear tells Barley, the toodler bear, how she wished for him and waited for him and imagined him for so long before she got the amazing news that she would get him. The story made Joey gush. He's in such a great place right now and these things were exactly what he loves to hear. We talked about how I'd wished for two brothers in early elementary school. He asked how I imagined him and I went into great detail about trying to imagine if they'd like sports or video games or arts & crafts. I imagined their room and their toys and their clothes. I thought about what we would do together and how we would laugh and dance and love each other so much. I told Joey that he is my wish come true. He smiled and said "And Josh?" and I said "And Josh." We hugged and kissed and it was bedtime. I hope he slept well and had good dreams.

Tonight I read the book to Josh. I had decided to read it to them separately so we could have separate bonds over it and they could ask different questions. It's always interesting to me what each of them takes from a story and what they ask or tell me. Josh listened. He fidgeted a lot, but he was paying attention. He kept interupting to make comparisons to him and his new monkey, Coco. I gave Coco to Josh for Valentine's Day and I'm so glad he loves Coco so much. But I was hoping he'd take to heart how the story relates to he and I instead of he and his new monkey. I told him how I reacted when I got the call telling me that I was going to get them...how I'd been praying for them for so long...how I cried and laughed and whooped when I heard...and how I'd called my sister and mom and Mel and we'd all celebrated together. When we'd finished the story, I told him I love him SO much and that it was time for bed. When I tucked him in and turned off the light and told him to have sweet dreams he said "You have sweet dreams too." Then I told him I love him, like I do every night. But tonight he said "Mom, I love you too." I smiled and set the door how he likes with about 4 inches open. Then I teared up and appreciated the love. Josh has told me "love you too" quite a few times, but not in a while and never with this much heart. With everything we've gone through lately, it really hit me in the gut and made me believe that everything just might be okay.

I went into my room to change into my nightgown. When I opened the bathroom door, Josh was sitting at the end of my bed waiting for me. He said, "Mom?" and I said "Yes?" and he said "I wished for you too." Whew. If you've been reading this blog for long, you know...wow. After getting him back in bed, I went downstairs to prepare their things for tomorrow.

Josh came to the top of the stairs and called for me. I went over and he asked if he could feed the dogs. Feeding the dogs in the evening is one of Josh's duties, but he often forgets. Him asking to feed them tonight was an indicator to me that he wants things to go back to "normal" and he wants to rejoin the family. For this reason, even though it was past bedtime, I let him come down and feed the dogs. As he filled the food cup for Quincy, he mumbled something. I went over and got close and down on his level and asked what he'd said. He repeated, "You are the most beautiful-ist thing ever." I melted and hugged him and we laughed and kissed each others cheeks over and over. I told him that he is the most beautiful-ist thing ever to me. Then he wanted me to sit in his room while he went to sleep because he felt scared of ghosts and at this point, don't tell him, but he could have anything he wanted...he could have had chocolate!! I hope he sleeps well and has good dreams too!

The Attack of the Pajamas

Sometimes Josh sleeps in his camo long johns as pajamas. He also wears socks at night to keep his toes warm. Last night he wore his long johns with his tall baseball socks pulled up on the outside of the ankles of his pajamas. This morning he needed to take a bath. He turned on the water and began to undress. He removed his top, then pull his pants down over his feet. This is how he takes pants off...stepping one foot on the leg of the pant and pulling up with the leg until the pants come off. Only this time, his pajamas didn't come off.

The legs inverted until they were inside out. He started kicking and rolling around which flipped the top part through his legs until he was so tied up he could hardly move. Then he called for me to come help him. I came upstairs and found him lying naked across the floor with his feet handcuffed in his pajamas. He looked up and said "I'm stuck". I did manage to suppress my laughter in light of his frustration. But seriously, that was hilarious!

Mornings

Most days we have a really hard time getting out the door to go to school. Josh asked to get up a bit earlier than Joey to give himself time to get ready, so I've of course obliged. Josh gets up at 6:35am and Joey gets up at 6:55am. But Joey still gets ready faster. Josh just can't seem to stay on course. We need to leave by 7:25am. They need to make their beds, eat breakfast, get dressed and brush their teeth...then put on shoes and get in the car. Eating breakfast can take Josh anywhere from 4 minutes to 30 minutes depending on his mood. I wish I could identify the specific circumstances that are in alignment when he gets ready in 10 minutes and comes in my room to chat before going down to put his shoes on. But I don't see any difference in those days than the ones that cause such an opposite reaction.

My new plan...as of today...is to try to get home from work earlier as often as possible to give us more time between getting home and Josh's bedtime. Then, I'll add some time for Josh and I to prepare him for the next day. We'll set out clothes and put everything in his backpack and put his backpack and coat in the car. My friend, Kraig, tells his daughter every night before bed "now remember, no fussing in the morning, right?" and she agrees each night. He says it's worked wonders. But she's two years old. Maybe I'll try it...it can't hurt, can it?

Anyone with any other ideas? What's worked for you?

Psychiatrist

Today I took both boys to see the Psychiatrist. Joey has been going monthly for a while and he's very comfortable with it. He'd rather not go as he definitely sees it as a consequence for misbehavior. But he likes the time that it means he and I get to spend together without Josh. Well, this month Josh got to go with us...because of everything you might have read below. I broke the news to Josh gently last night and he took it well.

We each talked to the doctor. The doctor agrees that we need to get Josh tested for learning disabilities. He doesn't know if it's dyslexia or ADHD or something else, but that Josh has frustration with thinking and learning. There's evidently a local place that takes his insurance and can do the tests by appointment which will most likely be much quicker than asking the school district to do it. The doctor is concerned about Josh's violent impulses and loss of control. We will go back to see him next month. The next appointment will be two weeks after the adoption is finalized. It's entirely possible that everything has been caused by stress and will go away in early March. Hope so.

Six Flags Reading Contest

Through school, both of the boys are participating in the Six Flag Six Hours of Reading contest. They have to read for 6 hours (360 minutes) to get a free ticket to Six Flags to be used this summer. Joey was so excited that he read like crazy and finished his Six Hours in record time. I think he was the first kid to turn in his reading log to the library. If I remember right, he did it in 7 days. I'm so proud of him.

Josh is taking longer, of course. The time has to be in addition to their regular homework reading and Josh really only has the reading stamina to read his homework and sometimes not even that. We have struggled and struggled and, as of yesterday, he had read 183 minutes...which alone is awesome for him. I reread the instructions and they say that my reading to him would count towards the total. I had wanted him to be able to do this himself. But I think that was too lofty of a goal for a struggling reader. So, last night I told him that my reading to him would count as well. We sat down and I read a long story and then he read a short story and then I read a long story. We logged 38 minutes yesterday...but even with me reading he loses interest and can't stand much more. The contest ends on February 24th...I'm sure we will make it. At this point, we need to read about 15 minutes every day until the deadline to make it. WE CAN DO IT!!!

Happy Valentine's Day

We had a wonderful first Valentine's Day together! It could have gone either way given events of late, but we were all on good behavior. We got up early to have a Valentine's breakfast. I woke them up with their presents from me. Josh loved his big monkey and Joey just  bloomed for his puppy dog. He immediately named his puppy dog Kathleen. Josh didn't name his until tonight...he named him Coco. Aunt Chris came over and we ate breakfast tacos and cinnamon buns. We all exchanged cards and gifts and such. Joey gave me a chocolate rose and Josh gave me a little heart shaped box of chocolates. We went to church then went to Lifetime so I could indulge myself in my Valentine's Day massage. Later we walked together at the middle school track and dropped by Piper's house to deliver BB Hawkins...Bumble Bee Hawkins...an adorable Valentine's Day bumble bee stuffed animal the boys wanted to get for Piper. The afternoon wrapped up with Josh's homework, dinner and a bunch of reading. Finally we all watched Olympic mogul freestyle. After just a few minutes of listening to the commentators, after one of the runs, Josh said "That run was tight." Kids are amazing!!

Video?

Please give me your thoughts? I bought a video recorder for a variety of reasons...to record the boys playing sports, getting awards, singing and dancing on stage, learning new skills, etc. What are your thoughts on taping them when they have temper tantrums? Or even slight flare-ups? I know it's a negative thing, but I can't help but think it might help them understand what they are doing to see it. What do you think?

CPS Report

Last night we were scheduled to talk to Heather, the boys' CPS caseworker. When we got home, the phone was ringing and Josh was in an unusually good mood. Joey talked to Heather first. While he was talking to her, Josh asked me for some Chapstick because his lips hurt really, really bad. I gave him Chapstick and pretty soon he started screaming that his lips were stinging. I've put Chapstick on really dry lips and sometimes it stings for a bit...so I knew what he meant. He screamed for water so I gave him some. He stuck his lips in the water and pretty soon he was fine. Joey was commentating the events for Heather on the phone...all accurately. Josh wanted Chapstick, lips sting, needs water, fine now. When Joey was finished sharing with Heather, he asked if Josh could talk to her. Of course.

Heather first asked about Josh's screaming. He didn't know what she was talking about. He didn't remember screaming. He put down the phone and came to me and said, "Mom, was I screaming?" I reminded him what had happened 2 minutes before and then he started to walk off. I reminded him he was on the phone with Heather. He picked the phone back up and started talking. I started working with Joey on his homework. Pretty soon, I started hearing some of Josh's conversation. I didn't overhear it all, but I got most of it.

Josh was telling Heather, his CPS worker, that he wants to leave. He doesn't want to be adopted by a mom that chokes him. He doesn't feel safe here and he doesn't feel loved here. Ouch. He tells Heather about a time (about a week and a half ago, but he doesn't remember when it was) when he was upstairs and was misbehaving and wouldn't come downstairs for a Timeout, so I carried him downstairs. He says I was choking him and he couldn't breathe. She asked how I carried him and he said with my arm around his waist and that he was screaming because he couldn't breathe. He said "And she didn't even care!!" He wants to be adopted by a mom that cares when she hurts him. He repeated the same story in the exact same words about 3 times. Then he said goodbye and handed me the phone.

I said Hello and Heather immediately told me not to worry because she didn't believe him. Whew. I was wondering how I was going to prove that what he was telling her wasn't true. Joey had said that he would talk to her and tell her what really happened, but I'd hoped that wouldn't be necessary. She mentioned that she knew you couldn't choke someone at the waist and that you can't scream if you can't breathe. She said that he couldn't be afraid of me and yet telling her all of this in front of me. When children are scared they don't get in the person's face that they are afraid of. She said that he's obviously mad at me and striking out to hurt me and possibly get me in trouble. He did hurt me. He didn't get me in trouble.

How do you guard your heart and also leave it open? How do I keep things like this from ripping my heart out of my chest while staying vulnerable enough to love them?

Heather thinks Josh needs to be evaluated by a Psychiatrist. She said that Joey hadn't needed medication until he was 7 and maybe Josh needs it too now that he's 7. She noticed that he can't remember something that happened a few minutes before with the screaming questions, and he gets confused about what order things happened in, and he's making stuff up and totally out of control physically and emotionally.

After talking to Heather, Josh immediately became elated and light and happy. It looked like he had removed a heavy burden from his shoulders. You could interpret this to mean that he'd been weighed down by his decision to want to leave and now that he'd finally told someone he trusted he could relax again. Or you could interpret this to mean that he was totally pleased with himself because he's managed to hurt me and will now get what he wants. I asked Joey why he thought Josh told Heather these things. He thinks Josh is mad. I agree. I asked Joey what he thought Josh was mad about. He thought about it for a bit and then said this about foster care..."At Mimi's house, Josh always got his way. He's mad because he's not getting his way about everything." I asked Joey if he understood why Josh couldn't always get his way. He looked at me like I was dense and explained that Josh won't every grow up if I give in to him all the time. He explained to me that Josh has to eat, bathe, brush his teeth, do his homework, go to bed, and go to school...that these things are important even if he doesn't want to do them. Joey is a very smart little boy.

Things were simpler when Josh was in foster care. Things were simpler when Josh was in Kindergarten. It's easier to have someone else wash your hair and read to you and pick out everything you'll wear. Josh would like to go back to when things where simpler.

This morning, Josh told Joey that he'd apologized to me. Joey asked me about it and I looked at Josh and said "You haven't apologized." Josh said "Yes I did. Right after my Timeout." I said, "Josh, you haven't been in Timeout today or at all since you talked to Heather yesterday." He looked confused. It looks like he's having trouble figuring out what order things happened in. I believe his thoughts and his memory are playing tricks on him.

1) I'm trying to get Josh an appointment with Joey's Psychiatrist next Tuesday.
2) I'm praying that I'll be able to let this go and not keep it around as one of my own demons. Once Josh and I get past this, I can't have it in my conscious or unconscious thoughts about our relationship. I've got to force the gaping hole in my heart to heal without a scar.

PARENTHOOD IS HARD!!!

Josh's Temper

Well last night his stomach ache was gone...but his bad mood continued. Mostly he's just grumpy, which isn't fun to be around, but isn't a big deal. But at least 2-3 times a day it goes way overboard. He's gotten "Yellow" at school every day this week which means he missed recess because of misbehaving. The teacher writes in his planner what the problem was and it's been talking back, talking when he shouldn't, etc. I continue to laugh at the fact that we all thought Josh was so quiet when we first met him. Once he gets comfortable he's got quite a mouth on him.

Last night at the end of my Bible Study, he stomped out to the car and started screaming and kicking my seat. What he was screaming was impossible to understand. When I turned around and asked him what was wrong, he screamed at the top of his lungs "None of your beeswax!!" I promptly got out of the car, asked Joey to get out and opened Josh's door. Josh said, "I'm not going anywhere!!" I picked him up and led him inside to a Timeout. He screamed and hollered and kicked walls. When his 7 minutes were over, I went over and said "Your Timeout is over. Please stand up." and he said "NO!!" Normally, this would have caused him to get another Timeout because he obviously wasn't ready to behave yet. But I wanted to get them both home, so I ignored that. Never ignore the signs.

When we got back in the car, Josh continued to kick my seat and scream. I told him I couldn't drive until he was quiet and stopped kicking because it isn't safe. We sat there while he worked this all out for about 20 minutes. Then we finally went home.

He woke up this morning still misbehaving, mouthing off, talking back and saying such hateful things...and refusing to apologize.

Josh's Tummy Hurts

I just got a call from the school nurse letting me know that Josh came to the nurses office with a stomach ache after lunch. I resisted the urge to ask what they'd fed him at lunch. She actually mentioned that he said it had hurt a bit before lunch and then more after. He's gone back to class because she has a few other children in the nurse's office that are sicker than Josh and she didn't want him to get what they have. I thanked her profusely for that. Plus, she said that after resting a bit he said he felt much better. I promised her I'd keep my phone handy this afternoon in case he comes back with more stomach problems.

When I think about it, every time that either Josh or Joey have had stomach aches, it's always been on Tuesday. This has only happened to Joey once and he was really sick. But it's not uncommon for Josh. So, what's different about Tuesday? They get up 1/2 hour earlier to go to Chess Club before school. And their breakfast is more "on the go", like breakfast bars, bagels, fruit and less time consuming like cereal with milk or Eggos with syrup. Plus they eat earlier because of the whole early school thing. Josh doesn't know the difference between hunger and stomach pain. Maybe before lunch, he's just hungry. Then, on top of that, I've been teaching him to eat until he's just a little over full so we can stretch out his stomach and he can eat enough to grow. Perhaps he's overeating because he's hungry and his Mom wants him to eat until he's just a little over full. Then after resting a little after lunch, he digests some food and all is better.

Hmmm...hope this is right. This would be reasonably easy to fix with a bit better planning on my part. Hope he's not really sick.

New Motivation

I've started playing a new game that I need to start a new good habit...so I'm making blogging on this blog my new good habit. Thus, I'll be blogging on here 6 days a week. Woohoo! Each one may not be as long, but it will get me back to this. Hopefully I'll get the time.

Puzzles

The boys have discovered puzzles. My mom bought them a couple of puzzles not long after they came to us, but they didn't know what do to with them really. Then, just after Christmas I went through one of my puzzle crazy stages...where I do one after another. Joey loved sitting with me and staring at the puzzle pieces. I would explain to him my logic to doing puzzles. Eventually he started putting pieces in. They were always in the wrong places, but it was a start. When he would go to bed, I would go back and take all of them out. Then one day he put one in the right spot. We danced and fist bumped and sang "it's your birthday, it's your birthday"...we celebrated!! The next day he looked harder and harder to find a piece that fit.

Towards the end of the last puzzle I did in that puzzle crazy phase, he must have placed 10 correct pieces. Then, we went to visit Grandma and Grandpa. Joey found the puzzles she'd bought and they both started working the 50 piece puzzles intently. About a week later, they talked Aunt Chris into getting them some new puzzles at the Dollar Tree. Two days later, we were back at Dollar Tree getting even larger puzzles. Both Josh and Joey are working the puzzles, but Joey's is a puzzle obsession that mirrors mine. Although he hasn't yet reached the end of this puzzle crazy phase, I believe it will come. It's a new toy to him and I love it. Doing puzzles increases focus and problem solving and organization skills and the ability to play alone...which Joey has real trouble with. It's a fantastic eye exercise for his vision too! I couldn't be more happy about their interest in puzzles!

Hello Out There

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging lately. I don't want anyone to worry about us. I've just been very busy and, for some reason, blogging hasn't risen to the top of the priority list. Here's an update:

Josh is having trouble in the mornings, dinnertime, bathtime, bedtime...playtime...you name it. In the mornings he wakes up in a bad mood. He whines and cries and generally acts like he's two years old. Last Friday evening I sat down with him and we talked about what we could do to help him in the mornings. He said that he doesn't like being rushed so waking up earlier seemed like a good idea to him. Yesterday and today I woke him up 10-15 min earlier so he wouldn't be as rushed. So far he just sits at the breakfast table crying that he's tired and not eating so he still ends up rushed when he finally moves. I don't think he is really tired. I think he's just cranky. At dinnertime, he rarely eats his food within a reasonable amount of time. I used to give him 30 min and then I'd take the food away, but I've stopped doing that because he wasn't getting enough food.
I assume that most of the nastiness is to get attention, so I've tried to massively increase the attention I give to him when he's behaving and ignore him when he's misbehaving so that I can get more of the behaving. It's hard because there's so little time that he's actually behaving. I feel so bad for him because it must be just miserable to be him right now. I've been in bad moods before, but I don't remember it ever lasting for so long.

We are trying to schedule the adoption for March 8, 9, or 10 in San Antonio. He's said that getting the adoption over with is something he's anxious about and maybe it's drawing out too long for him. Or maybe kids just go through phases like this and I need to get used to it. I also need to continue to reiterate to him that he needs to eat. He's tired because he's not getting enough to eat and he's not growing because he's not getting enough to eat. He says he's not hungry, but the more he'll eat, the more he'll be able to eat. We need to stretch out his stomach so more can fit in and he gets hungry more often.
Joey is really doing well. He's excited about things and having fun. He misbehaves rarely and gets over it pretty fast when he does. Honestly, Joey's happiness may actually be a factor in Josh's misery. They definitely tend to trade off.