A Hard Saturday

Last Saturday afternoon, Joey wanted to watch TV and he needed to be wearing his glasses. He didn't want to be wearing his glasses. Since they'd been patched, it's much harder for him to see. It had been 16 days since his last temper tantrum which is a great run. Plus, I'd expected to have some problems with getting him to wear the glasses, so his reaction that day really wasn't a big surprise.

He cried. He screamed. He refused to go to his room for a timeout. About an hour into the temper tantrum, he tried to use "leave me alone and let me calm down so I won't scream at you anymore" as a way to stay where he was and not go to timeout. I know this because Josh and I had already left him alone for almost 30 minutes to calm down, during which time he had actually fallen to sleep, and this was immediately following that period. But he's smart enough to try to use the tools he's been given to get his way. I gave him some more time and then asked him to go to his room for his timeout and he started screaming at me that I need to go to jail because I'm a bully. He got the phone to call the police to have me arrested because I'm a bully. I explained to him that if he feels scared or in danger he absolutely needed to call the police. But to be sure he really wanted to call them before he dialed. I explained that if he calls and hangs up they will still come to the house and he'll need to talk to them. Eventually, after about an hour and a half, he quietly walked to his room and did his timeouts. He also lost $2.50 of his allowance for last week during the episode. This is the first one where he didn't get physically violent at all. The rest was very similar to the other bouts. He spent a lot of time saying he wants to die and was going to kill himself. He tried to hold his breath to kill himself, but that didn't work, of course. He said "I'm so ugly no one wants to look at me" a lot. That's a new one. Calling me a bully is also a new one. I'm not okay with him screaming in my face. I need him to treat me with more respect than that, but I'm hoping that will come with time.

Josh also had a temper tantrum that night. His was because he didn't want to take a bath or brush his teeth. His was just crying at the top of his lungs and punching his bed. He eventually fell asleep on top of his comforter in his clothes without having bathed or brushed his teeth. He had made me a picture earlier in the day while Joey was acting up and given it me saying he loves me and not to worry, that if Joey calls the police he'll tell them the truth. During his own temper tantrum, he told me he wanted his picture back. I gave it to him in the morning. Josh does this a lot. I'm thinking I might have been better off refusing to give it back to him, but I'm not sure about that. I asked him to take his bath in the morning and he did. Josh has been snippy and pushing all boundaries for 5 or 6 days now. It looks like he is trying everything to get into trouble. If I ask him to bring me his dishes, for example, he'll look at me, raise his chin and say NO. Classic defiance. I'm just planning on trying to wait this out.

Two days later, Josh came to me with the picture and held it up. He said, "I'm sorry about what I did the other night and I want you to have this." I thanked him, gave him a hug and told him I love him. Then I put the picture back on the refrigeration door.