A carrot or a stick?

Don’t worry. I’ve not really used a stick. But I’m trying to switch from taking things away when they misbehave (stick) to giving them positive things when they behave (carrot). The new plan was introduced to me by Pathways’ super nanny, Linda. Linda suggested that I start giving the boys something like poker chips when they do something I like and provide them with a schedule of what they can trade the chips in to get.

I borrowed my sister’s poker chips and bought them each clear plastic boxes to keep their chips in. I bought letter stickers to put their names on the boxes and gave them stickers to decorate them. I made a list of things they can trade the chips for…15 minutes of Wii time, 15 minutes of TV time, go on a walk with Mom, etc. The boys are both very excited about this. It only took them a few days to stop telling me that I should give them a chip for this or that. I kept explaining that it had to be something I thought of, not set behavior or at their suggestion.

Mostly I have used this strategy exactly as Linda intended…but a few times I found myself twisting it just a little. For example, when Joey is arguing with everything I say, I might give Josh a chip for not arguing with everything I say. Or when Josh whines about having to take a bath, I might give Joey a chip for taking a bath without a fuss. This isn’t the best to use the strategy…but it works just as good as giving them chips for good behavior when the other one isn’t misbehaving.