Are we a blended family?

"I HATE IT HERE! I DON'T WANT A DOG THAT CHEWS UP TOYS! I HATE COOPER!" screamed Josh at bedtime last night. Cooper hasn't chewed up one of their toys in about 5 weeks. When the boys first arrived, I explained to them that Cooper and Quincy (our dogs) have dog toys that look and taste just like little stuffed animals. Cooper likes to unstuff his own toys and he can't tell the difference between his toys and the stuffed animals the boys brought with them. I told the boys to make sure they didn't leave anything on the floor of their room or it was at risk. They decided that they should not only keep the floor clear, but they would keep the door shut as well.

Twice they have forgotten and we've come home to an unstuffed prize possession all over the living room floor. Both times they have been Josh's toys and both times he handled it very maturely. He was sad that the toy had been chewed up, but he took responsibility for leaving them down and the door open instead of getting mad at the dog. The first time it was his Incredible Hulk. His new Grandma (my mom) and I sewed him up and told Josh it was a cool new scar. The next one was Sid from Ice Age and he was just a goner. Josh and I had a very short, informal funeral for Sid and tossed him in the kitchen trash can. As much as I feel badly for Josh, part of me is appreciative that Cooper is helping me teach the boys to keep their room clean. Since then, Cooper hasn't gotten his paws on any toys.

So, last night's declaration wasn't in response to Cooper eating one of Josh's toys. Instead, this was in response to having to pick up his toys before he goes to sleep. They both want the door open at night and Cooper regularly goes in there to make sure they are okay. He's even come and woken me up in the middle of the night for me to find Josh sleeping on the floor having rolled out of bed. Cooper feels a great responsibility at night to pace between my room and theirs making sure everyone is okay...and I don't think he can decide where he should sleep.

I wonder if this is anything like blending families. Josh and Joey are having to learn and adjust to Cooper and Quincy's ways just as Cooper and Quincy are having to adjust to Josh and Joey. Their are positives and negatives for everyone. And I feel the need to defend all of them to each other as they feel their new way. I want everyone to get along and respect each others idosyncracies while also standing up for themselves. That may be too much to ask. I haven't done any research on blending families because I hadn't really looked at this in that light before. My current strategy is to just give them all time and pray for the best.